Since sharing her first video on Instagram in March 2023, Kumiko Shichijo, 60, has become an online authority on Japanese etiquette and manners, guiding over 180,000 international followers on everything from handling chopsticks to exchanging business cards. For her day job, Shichijo heads up the family real estate business, Shichijo Shokai, in the city of Takamatsu, Kagawa Prefecture.
1. What motivates you to make your videos? I really appreciate people who take an interest in Japanese culture. Even if they don’t know a lot about the culture here, they want to respect it, and I like that mindset a lot.
2. Has the rapid growth of your Instagram account surprised you? Yes! When I reached 100 followers, I was so happy that I sent my 100th follower a DM just to thank them. Before starting the account, I noticed that there weren’t many people out there teaching Japanese etiquette to non-Japanese people, so I did see that there was an opportunity. The videos on gift giving and oshibori (hand towel) manners have attracted a lot of views in particular.
3. Were etiquette and manners always very important in your family? My mom was quite strict about it, yes. I was also learning the tea ceremony from the age of 13, so knowing how to sit and bow properly and take care of utensils was ingrained in me at a young age.
4. Is having that formal education at that age quite unusual? In those days, particularly for my mom’s generation, it was almost like a must. Be it the tea ceremony, flowers or even cooking, it was all part of hanayome shugyō (bridal training).
5. What other things did you learn from an early age? I started learning calligraphy at the age of 6, ikebana when I was 9 and then (how to wear) kimono when I was 18.
6. Was the family business in real estate at this point? No, we were actually in the beverage industry, and when the drinks trade would slow down in the winter, we’d make konnyaku instead, as it’s popular in the winter for nabe (hot pot dishes).
7. Did you ever help out? From the age of 7 or 8, I was gluing the labels to the drink bottles one by one, and then when I got my driving license, I began making deliveries to supermarkets and sentō (public baths) as well.
8. So what happened to the beverage business? As companies like Coca-Cola and Pepsi established themselves in Japan and became stronger and stronger, the family business just went down and down. My dad had no choice but to change direction, and that’s how the factory ended up being replaced by an apartment block.
Kumiko Shichijo says bowing properly in Japan requires you to keep your back straight and bow from the waist. | JOHAN BROOKS
9. Did this affect your own path in any way? I really wanted to study English at university, but the course I was interested in was at a school in a different prefecture, so I had to give up on that dream. I went to a local school instead and majored in Japanese language and literature. I also did some teacher training there, which led to me doing some English teaching once I graduated.
10. Is that how you honed your English skills — through teaching? The English I was teaching was purely academic. It was only when my then-husband got a job transfer to the U.S. that I began picking up conversational English. When he was transferred once more to Hong Kong eight years later, I was able to start working as an interpreter. I ended up spending a total of 22 years abroad.
11. During those 22 years you spent overseas, did your feelings toward Japan change? They changed immensely. Before moving abroad, I really didn’t like being in Japan. It was actually me who encouraged my ex-husband to go for the job transfer — I just wanted to get out. Going to the U.S. also felt very liberating because being different there was OK in a way that it wasn’t in Japan. But spending all that time away made me realize that I also didn’t know much about Japan either. People would ask me all sorts of things about the country, and I wouldn’t be able to answer them.
12. Did it also spark your interest in Japanese etiquette and manners? Yes, living abroad helped me appreciate that side of Japan, and when I came back, I started reading lots of books on the topic. For a long time, I thought that just reading up on it was sufficient, but I eventually realized it wasn’t enough and began taking lessons from the Ogasawara-ryū school — the original etiquette school of the shogun that dates back to the Kamakura Period (1185–1333).
13. What do they teach you at the school? At the beginning, we were just learning how to stand up, walk, sit down and bow, and it was so hard! We’d do most of the lessons in casual clothes, but those four movements are taught based on the way that you’d move in a kimono, and it really builds the core muscles. It’s not uncommon to sweat just from the walking.
14. Do the other people attending these lessons go for reasons other than improving their own etiquette? A lot of people study etiquette alongside kyūjutsu (traditional Japanese archery) at the school. Historically, Ogasawara-ryū is known for yabusame, which is when you shoot arrows while riding on a horse.
15. You share a lot of sightseeing information on your account as well, particularly in relation to art. How far back does your interest in art go? When I was a child, I was drawn to the impressionists and, more generally, the ornate and the beautiful, like rococo and art nouveau. Later on, when I went to the U.S., I began taking lessons in art and design at a community college, and I really enjoyed it. I find it hard to express myself on the canvas, though, so I haven’t done much practice since, but I still like drawing and had a series of two diptychs exhibited at a group show in Paris back in 2017.
A pair of diptychs by Kumiko Shichijo exhibited in Paris in 2017. | COURTESY OF KUMIKO SHICHIJO
16. I gather music is also a big part of your life? Yes, I love music. I saw Dua Lipa perform in Saitama the other day, but I’m particularly into jazz singers like Ella Fitzgerald. I’ve also started taking singing lessons from the owner of a jazz bar in Takamatsu called So Nice. She even let me join in and do a small performance there recently, but I got stage fright and didn’t perform as well as I did in practice.
17. Do you have any tips for people visiting the homes of Japanese friends and family during the New Year holidays? Bring a souvenir and be mindful of the time, as Japanese people are unlikely to tell you when you should leave. Also, wear nice socks!
18. The custom of bowing in Japan is widely known, but what separates a good bow from a bad one? For a proper Japanese greeting, it’s important to keep your back straight and bow from the waist. The movement should be slow and steady, with your hands sliding down the front of your thighs as you go. Rhythm is also important. In order to pace yourself, try inhaling as you bend forward, exhaling as you hold the bow and then inhaling once more as you go back up.
19. And is there anything to bear in mind during hatsumōde (the first shrine or temple visit of the year)? You can have a look at the video I did on visiting shrines this January for a general guide, but a simple thing that’s often overlooked is the way in which you present your monetary gift to the deities. You can take the money from your pocket, of course, but make sure you place it in the offering box gently and with respect.
20. Lastly, what are your top recommendations for Takamatsu? I’m always encouraging people to visit Ritsurin Garden, as you can learn a lot about traditional Japanese culture there. And then there’s Yashimaru, a building on the summit of Mount Yashima that was commissioned for the Setouchi Triennale 2022; the views of the Seto Inland Sea there are amazing. Yashima is also where a key battle during the Genpei War (1180-85) took place, so there are many historic sites in the area as well.
Follow Kumiko Shichijo on Instagram: @japanese_etiquette